moved

pynchinsky:

clearancecreedwatersurvival:

• Apollo: trash
• Jason: trash
• Medea: dubiously evil queen of my heart
• Agamemnon: dead trash
• Clytemnestra: takes out the trash
• Zeus: walk of shame incarnate
• Hermes: little shit
• Hestia: literally no one talks about her
• Artemis: #misandry
• Hera: woman, scorned
• Hades: goth wannabe shit baby
• Persephone: Per-Step-On-Me
• Ares: God Of War ™
• Aphrodite: Walk Walk Fashion Baby
• Cronus: hide yo kids, hide yo wife
• Athena: i feel like she plays baseball probably
• Achilles: I Love My Dead Gay Son
• Patroclus: “Geez Achilles find your chill.” 
• Orpheus: Gay
• Hephaestus: allll byyyy myyyyseeEEEeelf
• Heracles: why does no one talk about him mucking out those stables?
• Odysseus: total piece of shit
• Chiron: tired of everyone’s shit
• Hecate: my wife
  
  EDITED TO ADD THE FOLLOWING
• Patroclus (alt.): Oh look at that. I’ve been impaled.
• Poseidon: I think you mean Broseidon, bro to the fishes and ponies
• Dionysus: ambiguously queer and perpetually sloshed
• Oedipus: the loser of every ‘yo momma’ battle
• Ajax: Stronger than Grease ™ <-soap reference in case it’s too obscure
• Circe: basically that scene in Monty Python where all the evil ladies wanna bang
• Tiresias: Bet he didn’t see that one coming.
• Cassandra: got the short end of every stick
• Antigone: that play from high school english that everyone sparknoted
• Cerberus: whozagoodboyden
• Hyacinth: what kind of asshole gets killed by a discus?
• Hippolytus: a fedora sporting MRA
• Romulus: moon
• Remus: moon
• Narcissus: Treat Yo Self
  

Adding my Crete squad: Icarus: I believe I can flyyy Daedalus: I’ve made a huge mistake Ariadne: so done of men’s shit Theseus: trash Phaedra: like father like son immarigh?